Life Of a Penniless Dreamer

  Dear dreamer,  Rerouting... At this time, I was a little bit shaken. I had posted on the blog for four days and I did not have feedback. Well, not quite...I had positive feedback but I was sceptical of the crowd. Usually, if I write something I might post, I send to my friends to hear what they think of it but I did not take this route because strangely, I felt it was necessary to keep the essence right in it.  I posted the link on my socials and one of my friends I had told about the blog when I decided to do it recognised it immediately it was on my socials and some people who have seen other things I wrote in the past guessed I was the writer and said it was nice. A couple of people saw it too and also commented positively. The good comments were too many, not a single criticism and that is exactly what I was expecting.  I decided to seek the opinion of someone that had absolutely no reason to flatter or try to 'encourage' me. I chose my cousin and her comments ...

  Dear dreamer, Strategic Thinking At this time, I was just wondering what other people who achieved more did better. They usually say you should emulate the characters you want to be and I was putting in my best in building strong characters. I was doing as much as I could do honestly and weariness was creeping in. There are a couple things that were definitely beyond my control. Disheartening?...yes but it's reality. I keep trying to remind myself that my job is to do everything to the best of my ability.  Truth is, that it was getting harder to hold on to hope and it felt so unfamiliar. Only then did I realise that because I had trod new levels of determination, the levels of despondence were also going to be new which could be advantageous because in overcoming it, you will move to new levels of vibrancy and I am giving my all since I only get this one chance to live this dreams.  On this note, I am officially declaring that I'm sort of diversifying. What I mean is th...

Dear dreamer, Low mode... I was back to low mode but I had one thing making me feel a little alive- the blog and I realised one thing. It was here to stay. Whatever I have to do to protect it, I will do without hesitation. But the truth remained that I was definitely operating in low mode. I had hit another rock bottom. Nothing interested me anymore and when you don't know what to do, do what you know how to do and whenever I hit a block, my instinct is to not complain but try to solve it so that is exactly what I tried to do. I tried my best but some are just natural I guess... So, I was riding the low the best I can. After all, I have this one chance to live this dreams so I can not let it go. I learnt something though. Spend the first hour of your day when you wake up reading something new, something that will change you mentally, psychologically, something that will make you a better version of yourself. It is called the golden hour...work on yourself every moment.  Very brief ...

Dear dreamer,  On to the next... Opening the blog definitely felt good. It was a challenge I definitely enjoyed- something was entirely up to me to ruin or build, whatever I thought to do. Having experienced this, on to the next.  Product 1 requires nothing other than advertisement. Product 2...there is certainly work to be done. On some days, I think of it and feel overwhelmed and just push it further to the back but I learn something new with regards to it every day and I wish I can find someone who is equally interested in the project but none yet so I will make do for now.  As part of my routine everyday, I have been reading books- I usually pick them randomly when I don't have recommendations but I had this time. The books were about leadership, teamwork and how to build a good team, literally. However, something struck me from the principles to implement, they were simple. Yes, that's it. All of the answers to all the problems you could encounter in team work were s...

Dear dreamer, Finally. Yes! Today was a knotty one. I had this knots in my stomach that were definitely balls of nervousness. I started the day with various activities outside of goal-achieving ones and I had promised to open the blog to prove my dad wrong. I chose the blog because it was the only thing I can do right now even without spending a dime so I did it.  I opened the blog and posted day 001- first episode of broke, brave and becoming...very funny. I was not even sure about the next or the day after that one. All I knew in that moment was that I did it. I posted the link on my socials for anybody who is a reader to read it.  Now, I needed to document something so that I would keep up with the blog; the purpose. Sometimes, in my experience though, we are supposed to support each other by helping one another. It does not have to be materialistic or anything serious but simply by sharing our experiences and how we survived it. This alone might help someone out. We are su...

Dear dreamer, Challenged Once again One of my biggest mentors as far as I can remember has always been my dad.  I love my mum but my dad is someone I respect so much. Maybe because we share a lot in common. We believe strongly in having big dreams and goals and living it, we love to acquire knowledge, we love books, talk about books we have read and share them with each other, just so many other things. More importantly, he always tells me that he had faith that whatever I made up my mind to do, I could do it and it was obvious he believed it from the way he would react every time I told him about a new challenge I was taking on. My mum would sometimes flinch a little or ask questions that indicated doubt but my dad did not, if he had doubts, he did a good job hiding them. This morning, he called me to share some things he had gained from a seminar with me like we usually do and I told him simply that none of it was old news to me - have big challenging dreams, have clear goals, fo...

  Dear dreamer, In the clouds... I was clearly in the clouds- only not exactly the way it usually seems. It felt like I was newly back from an high -illusion versus reality. I had all of this ideas and things that were very easy to dream of but it is reality now- time to act and do. First things first, I have to open the blog. I was engaged in it as much as I could ever be so, it was time to do it. I had the blog for day 1 and titles for the next five days but nothing else -that is poor for someone who definitely has no want for knowledge.  I pondered the issue of age a while ago -the right age to do certain things and eventually it all boiled down to time because in my opinion, it's outright dumb to give a specific age for someone to do something or else they would not be on track. It makes zero sense because late bloomers sometimes perform better in the long run than early ones. Now with regards to time, the best time to do anything is the moment right after you realise it s...

  Dear dreamer,  New Perspectives...New Decisions Or so I thought. I was considering the activities of the day before and I was confused. I did not particularly want a job offer. If I did, building products would never have been the first thing on my mind. Not like a job is bad, in fact, it is very good but I have worked jobs and I never really enjoyed it. I was always so eager for it to end (I think it's more personal than anything else). I was not building product because it was a lot of money either, a job would certainly have been better- no capital required but the only type of job I ever considered taking is a contract job so I can leave when I am done but here I was contemplating a job offer. I did not see that coming. I got tired of thinking of it and just chose to live one thought, one work, one task at a time. That was me making my decision- I was not going to decide right now because it is not important. Product 1 is. If anything, I could always just choose either o...

  Dear dreamer, The Unexpected It started with an unplanned trip. I had to leave my house for the second time in 9 days- not my favourite thing to do but I knew I had to go to my dad's office and from there, we were taking a short trip out of the state. I was in the office writing the most random things from my head (I woke up with something chanting in my head- 'feelings are hard'). We were waiting for a visitor.  First, I had to chant what I studied in the university to a group of people time and time again (not my favourite thing to do) then, I was shown an engineering problem and I was still trying to figure out the solution when the call came in that the visitor had arrived- you could literally see the relief on my face. The visitor was definitely full of surprises. He brought a contract for a project I have always wanted to do but it's capital-intensive (I'm penniless...remember?) and it took every bit of self-control for me to not burst into the conversation ...

  Dear dreamer, Something finally... Yep! Product 1 is finally ready- actually, it's a service so what is left is to push it into the market so it can find its place but I'm penniless and it requires a little penny to go but I'm not worried, I have plans for how that will be settled. I have chosen a partner for this one but I am still considering alternatives- nobody likes last minute disappointments. As for product 2, the team is yet to be set up- more like I have been putting it off. I don't want to set up just any group of people. I had a couple of people in on the idea but I was not quite sure I could trust them professionally. Don't get me wrong- I trust them normally but professionally...I was not quite sure and I was still on schedule. I know that is indecision right there but I am still human after all... However, I was kind of happy. Progress has that effect. Of course, I keep doubting myself every now and then but I am able to move past it every time and t...

  Dear dreamer, Still not Up... Yeah...I also did not exactly see this coming. I just wanted to build awesome things, structures, just about anything awesome that changed lives. That is my dream. But here I was realising that I had underestimated how difficult and not spontaneous it will be. All of a sudden I remembered that I learnt somewhere that when building, do those little things that contribute to the overall results. Now, I understood very clearly what the writer thought.  I had made substantial progress in that regard. I had a couple of little wins- that's what the writer called it. Those little wins, no matter how small or not very significant do a huge job in encouraging you. You might not be there yet but you were definitely on the way. It is delay not denial. I was definitely enjoying the ride, slow tides and chaos combined to produce a rhythm- a beautiful one that is one day going to word a story to be told time and time again. It is easier to understand and appr...

  Dear dreamer,  Setting up Glimpses of hope filtered through my window, along with the early sun rays- at least I felt that way. Clarity has its way of bringing peace and revival to chaos. It was almost as if I was completely invigorated but I knew myself too well. To the business of the day, I had a few jobs to do- mundane advertisement tasks and I got to work and was done in no time. Simple jobs can make you seem invincible. I was definitely not in the most productive state but I was getting a few things done since I knew exactly what I had to do. I even wrote the very first part of this blog. As for work, there were a couple things to do as it will most likely be throughout this development stage. The product had a lot of operations to undergo and it's smart to not do it alone even if you can pull it off. I needed a team. Now, I am not the biggest fan of team work, in fact, you can say I sort of dread it. Of course, there are reasons. Most compelling is that, it ties down ...

  Dear dreamer,  Start something...somewhere At this time, I now had 3 important things plus all other things I had to do but this 3 were distinctly paramount. One of my favourite quotes is; If every other thing was important then, nothing is important This means we always have to narrow our activities down to what is important. I had 2 products to build from somewhat scratch and I had a blog to open-something I had not even figured out. Usually, when daunting tasks like this pile up and it feels like I'm drowning, it's terrible for two reasons; first, I try to run away because it feels too much. Second, I berate myself for not being able to do anything but running. So, here I was running away from drowning and hating myself for doing that. Now, to someone that is watching or listening, it's a very insane thing to do but it plagues everyone out there We feel about our feelings and the answer seems very simple- stop the feelings but that usually never works out because we ca...

  Dear dreamer,  Life Of A Penniless Dreamer I don't know about others but being idle makes me so uncomfortable. Like, I must always be doing something valuable, meaningful, something that is felt but, as it was, I was just waking up in the past few days to nothing but absolute emptiness. Of course, I did some mundane chore but it moved nothing so I was dissatisfied and wondering what exactly I could do- something effortless enough but impactful. Not like I did not have things to do, in fact I had deadlines to meet but I was in low spirits so I had no motivation nor intention and I have learnt to not force some things. Quality dwindles. Poor quality with so much effort. There is something I do from time to time, no fixed time frame but I just organise it as it feels. It's a self-reflection exercise. During the exercise, I just simply review all of my plans and see how much progress I made- sometimes it is depressing, other times it lifts my spirit. It's just to make sure I ...

  Dear dreamer,  Nothing Yet?... Exactly! Knowing what to do is quite a painful distance from doing it. I knew what I had to do-explicit steps in fact but that did not remove the challenges of doing it though it seems to me that the challenges were better suited to be 'excuses'. Obviously, they are not exactly easy but they are not insurmountable but I just laid in my bed, later wandered around with this 'to-do' list in my head. I picked up my laptop to do it but the lack of motivation made me loose interest at the slightest discomfort. A little background story, I am not exactly at my best state. In fact, I am engaging in berating myself more than I have done in five years or so. It is a kind of 'down moment' for me. I have all of this dreams in my head, have this timeline, have a quarter goal and so many things all of which I am failing at as far as evaluations go and I keep thinking- This is your one chance to do this...you can not afford to screw it up but a...

Dear dreamer,  Questions...lots of questions Lethargy...I could literally feel it like a gentle caress lulling me back to comfort-very deceptively destructive state. I started the long, arduous process of shaking it off simply because I have this one chance to live my dreams and I won't screw it up as far as it is up to me.  I started the day wondering if my ideas were good. There were a lot of questions;  Can I pull it off?  I might need help so I called out to my close confidant. I read about something called a kitchen cabinet- it is a couple of people that are literally your guide rails. They keep you accountable, you can ask them questions about anything. Well, they are supposed to be comforting enough yet honest to call you up on your faults without mincing words. I started building mine then so I reached out to the one who I can say is the chief of my cabinet. I ran the ideas by him, he did not have much of an opinion just a lot of questions about the idea and ...

Dear dreamer, Thoughts and more Thoughts... This is not your typical 'my life story'- only it possesses elements of it. The most daring thing about this is that I am just going with the flow (whatever that means) . I know not what the end will be, only dare hope it is good just like I think. Everyone always say "Dream" and it is only so hard to do so. They never tell you about the hopelessness in dreaming when you are penniless- which is the initial state of every dreamer. They do not want to discourage you so they omit it from every literature or maybe it is just difficult to describe which is what I want to describe so you can almost feel it... For any dreamer who is a vast reader and learner, the best way to start is to borrow wisdom from from great writers and people who have trailed this path before. From all I could gather, one stood painfully practical; 'Do not focus on what you do not have...but what you need  and find your way to it using what you have...