Day 004

 Dear dreamer, 

Life Of A Penniless Dreamer

I don't know about others but being idle makes me so uncomfortable. Like, I must always be doing something valuable, meaningful, something that is felt but, as it was, I was just waking up in the past few days to nothing but absolute emptiness. Of course, I did some mundane chore but it moved nothing so I was dissatisfied and wondering what exactly I could do- something effortless enough but impactful.

Not like I did not have things to do, in fact I had deadlines to meet but I was in low spirits so I had no motivation nor intention and I have learnt to not force some things. Quality dwindles. Poor quality with so much effort. There is something I do from time to time, no fixed time frame but I just organise it as it feels. It's a self-reflection exercise. During the exercise, I just simply review all of my plans and see how much progress I made- sometimes it is depressing, other times it lifts my spirit. It's just to make sure I am not wasting my time. In recent times, I have missed two sessions and that was pretty bad because I knew I was going to miss the third which was in a few days but I was simply too mentally exhausted to worry about it. I just left it exactly where it was- undone.

But, we have just this one chance to live our dreams and I was not about to let go of it. Every moment has to count. When you don't feel like you are on the right track, make extra effort to do something challenging so you do not slip further into oblivion.

Our lows are part of our lives. You always need to feel the downside to recognise the upside when it comes. If you never feel sadness, you will never know or appreciate happiness. Absence makes us long for presence and it has always been that way. The lows are times that will also count so make them as interesting as possible, beautiful even. Remember, as we track life, we are writing a story, one that is going to be all about our choices through our existence so let every minute count through the choices we make and I choose to make it count by doing something that produces ripples no matter how minimal.

I have been told severally by friends to open a blog or a podcast and I wanted to but there were so many excuses to not do it but I made up my mind to do it this time and the title- it was impromptu. I just casually mentioned it to someone in a conversation and that was it. Life of a Penniless Dreamer was born. 
Another day, still no penny made- now, worry is beginning to seep in.


                                ~A Penniless Dreamer

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