Life Of a Penniless Dreamer

Dear dreamer,  The finale We have been on this awesome, tiring yet rewarding journey to living this dreams. The truth is that this journey has become an important part of my life. A turning point definitely unique and transforming in every way. This was born out of a casual thought to see what could be, because as we grow to live through every calm and storm, we win some and lose others. A lot of things happen that will be beyond us. That's Life; most of it, unexpected.  This were little snippets from both the controllable and the moments that were unexpectedly terrifying and good. All of them made up the very essence of our existence. I can not do a full recap of the past 99 days because a lot of it are not within my reach except I would not be honest. There's only so much our brains can hold on to per time. All through the 99 days, we have relentlessly pursued one thing; this singular chance to live our dreams because that is what is important. You make sure you only regret ...

Dear dreamer, Time flies With time, a lot of things happen. We tend to evolve with things we experience. That's why I always tell people to pay attention to our experience. Somehow, they shape us for the rest of our lives. They affect the way we view the remainder of our life and experience. We grow whether in tough situation or in ease.  There is one vital part of evolving though; it is the fact that we become more shameless and more down-to-earth. Prior to now, I was always conscious about a lot of things. I seem to be less concerned about things. If anyone ever told me, I would be ready to talk to different people trying to get something I want but seems to be beyond just me. Anything that would involve me talking about myself or my dreams or aspirations or challenges always makes me squirm. It would send me running off in the opposite direction.  But, I have begun to realise that my problems has nothing to do with the noise in my environment. I am the only one that underst...

Dear dreamer, Change... Today, I was supposed to talk about the way we evolve and the most important part of growing but this moment is one where I would rather be silent and say a silent ode to the beginning and the end to every phase of our life. We will discuss this subject later. But, like our usual rodeo, I have to remind us that this is our one chance to live our dreams and we should not waste it.                    ~A Penniless Dreamer

Dear dreamer, Choose wisely If you were asked to describe yourself, what do you think you will say. Of course, there is nothing else to say apart from your choices. That is the essence of your life so would you pick something that important casually? Now, I can remember saying that we should be careful when making our choices. Today is just a short continuation of that. The only difference is that this time, I am talking about the things we do and claim is not part of our choices.  We always have a choice. We have the power to do anything regardless of what it is. It all starts out in our minds. There is nothing that we do that comes by chance. When we skip certain things, it's because we never planned to do it. The day I decided on a different course of action, I never failed despite the challenges I faced. No matter how many times we tell ourselves that there is nothing we can do about it, we know that there is yet another stone we have not turned in the course of the search....

Dear dreamer, Hope lives... A lot of times we make some poor choices. A choice is a choice whether you realise when you made it or not. Sometimes, I recount how different things could have been if I made different choices earlier. So many of them, time and time again, some bear more severe consequences than the others. Some of the consequences can be very difficult to live with. I somehow desperately look for how to resolve some because their effects were overarching. Anything as long as I don't have to deal with the choices I made ignorantly or unintentionally. A lot of times, I find that many of this choices can not be reversed.  It's easy to drown in tiredness or grief from consequences. But, there is something I always remember. The fact that I can think of the choices I made means there is life. I still have another chance to pull through with my entire essence and existence. While life remains, hope lives. You can either sit down and wallow in the grief of making the ...

Dear dreamer, Mixing it up... If there is anything that I have learnt, it is to always get my facts clear. In this world we live in, it's easy to get everything confused. You miss a target, you feel less skilled. You work hard to get something and fail to do that, you feel you are a lazy person. You mess up a project or two and somehow, you somehow begin to feel that you are not as intelligent or hard working as you think. That's what I call mixing up the facts.  I work very hard to make everything as good as they could be. The least thing I could do for myself is to declare the positive things I work to achieve instead of feeling some type of way because of something that has always been beyond me. I will have us understand the Pareto principle. It has helped me to cope with things go awry a lot of time. Only twenty percent of your life effort will yield eighty percent of your life's worth. It means you will do a lot of failed projects, does it mean you will never make it?...

Dear dreamer, Find it... Your focus should be in finding the flow. If you study history closely, your will discover that there is a trend of the flow. There was a time where the best thing to be was a business owner. There was another time where business owner suffered and it was athletics that was a trend. Likewise, there were times where the best trade to be in was a software developer. That flow is what's important, follow it with your life. It somehow manages to stir your life, believe it or not. There are individuals who can tell the season by studying the trends carefully. You too can if you are patient enough to study them. If not, work with someone who can tell the trend better than you. You might be wondering why it's that important. It saves you from unnecessary work and helps to spend your most important currency- time, the best way. You sow your time for what will pay the highest return. You can save your time for what deserves it and prevent waste.  If you will con...

Dear dreamer, Your disadvantage could be more... I learnt a great lesson today. Of course, it was from a book but that's not important. I don't think it's news to anyone that family background plays an important role in our lives no matter what field. Now, what if I tell you that your biggest disadvantage can just be your winning formula if you were dogged enough. People often get miserable or discouraged when the odds are not in their favour especially in terms of things like family, educational or tribal background. It's good to look forward, chin up, head high and do the next possible thing. That might just be your winning formula. The story was about immigrant Jews who were impressively good at what they studied- law. Their family background had no connections and it was a huge wonder that they even ventured into such a course because, practising law requires that you come from a 'rich' background. They were of course at a disadvantage so they were denied in...

Dear dreamer, Little things The beauty of little things is something we should all experience at least once. I watched a video where they were interviewing a CEO and founder of a company that sells chicken fingers. I was just wondering how you could make millions of dollars from chicken fingers. We can say that it is pure luck but what sort of special luck would that be? At some point, he must have felt like he was pushing his luck with the idea. Even if he was lucky, luck would not be enough. You would need hard work, consistency and faith in order to go that far. The lesson is forget your roots. Forget the confines the world put you in terms of background, race, demography, anything you can think of that is confining. Forget what you should be. You went to school to learn how to be a doctor, forget about it. You never got the opportunity to finish secondary or go to university, forget about what society says you can do or can not do. That little thing you have been given the opportun...

Dear dreamer, Kudos dreamer Well, we have been on this journey for 90 days. That could be seen as a lot yet feel very little in the endless amount of what we could do. There is one thing that I need to just express. Nothingness. Sometimes, all you need to do is just show up while we fight the silent struggles that other people might not know of. A lot of times, I just want to exist and not do anything and it's okay to feel like that and that is what I am doing today. Just showing up. I know we all have this one chance to live our dreams and we would. This time though, we are simply showing up. I can not precisely tell how much of this moments that I successfully won. Today however, we are just showing up for nothing serious. Yours truly...                               ~A Penniless Dreamer

Dear dreamer, A lifetime of commitment I had a sort of epiphany where I just had a glimpse of myself in the future. It was an idyllic scene I would not be able to forget for a while. The calm in me emanated from the fact that I did it. It was hard but I made it either way. That was blissful. It gave me hope and confidence to continue that, no matter what it currently looked like, it's only a matter of time before things got better, one after the other.  I became at peace with the fact that time and effort would bring all my desires to me. There is absolutely no need to fret as long as you keep doing what you should. Usually, the problem lies with working and failing. That's the worst fear of every dreamer out there. People are not afraid of working very hard if the result will correspond to the work done. A lot of times, this will not be the result and it discourages people but that is the difference between commitment and others.  We should be committed to our dreams. Keep do...

Dear dreamer, Scattered progress This is what I was practically getting myself prepared for. It's not easy to jump into it straightaway. My progress would be haphazard. I would be up today and down tomorrow but it is okay as long as I keep at it and continue trying to do what I need to do.  A lot of times, we would find ourselves struggling with even the very lifestyle we live in usually. Getting tired and sloppy every now and then happens and is also pretty normal. Are you lethargic, it's fine. DO your best. Rest easy too but keep moving. So, over the next few days, I will be busy doing as much as I can do while still trying to get to an optimal spot in my head where noise would be zero and signal would be very clear. After all, this is the only chance we get to live our dreams and it must not slip past us as if it did not exist. Today, I would have you know that I made progress with using my time well. It only got spent on the important things so that I can spend the rest of ...

Dear dreamer, Control or not... You can choose to control your life and what you do or not. The choice is always yours.  You can choose to be borderless or have borders everywhere. I will suggest you are bordered on every side. Take control of everything you do every moment to what takes up your time and space. Focus. Well, today, I was reminded of how important this is to us as individuals. I stopped doing every other person's job and just did mine yesterday and out of the blue, I realised that I was effective. I was able to complete my own work and even had time for other things.  Now, there was a catch. I still need to focus on the right things. That is also being bordered. I need to hold down my fort and say this is what I need to do. That is exactly what I lacked right now. The noise in my activities were a lot and I need to filter them out before they pose a real threat.  Usually, our lives will be riddled with choice of what we can do and can not and we always have...

Dear dreamer, After the break... The break is over. The break from the fight, if you were wondering what break. I hate breaks because mentally, I am more suited to overworking. That's the only thing that brings me satisfaction. I always believe that we are limitless when it comes down to what we can do. We are the only ones that has the ability to hold ourselves down. So, I don't like taking breaks because it usually requires me rewiring my mind both before and after the break.  However, this time I feel like the break was needed so I can see more clearly. This new time felt very much assuring, like a brand new chance at fighting. I felt more assured and courageous than initially. My thoughts were surprisingly clearer, it felt like my mind had somehow learnt new lessons and and I did not have to remind myself what was smart to do or what was stupid. I just had to create a new plan and try out project 2. I have left it for too long.  This feels like pausing to catch your breath...

Dear dreamer, The Passion Trap I have fallen into it. There was no doubt about that now. I suddenly had this epiphany that I had fallen into the trap of living in my passion. The fun fact is that this happened because I did not necessarily know what my passion was or maybe I should say that I always never accepted the chance this was it. Ignorance is always dangerous. I felt it was not my passion, how wrong I was. Only now did I realise how hard it is and even I could attest to that fact but I was doing it with two hands even though it's not a part of the plan at all. I have completely fallen without realising it. It has been fun while it lasted but it is time to go ahead with what the plan is. I need a new plan, another strategy map to draw. I tried unsuccessfully to pick up an old idea to continue working on it. All my projects felt very unfamiliar all of a sudden. Unknowingly, I had kind of surrounded myself with this work that I was doing and enjoying it. I need to put a pause ...

Dear dreamer Live with it cont'd I learnt shame and fear. A vital part of our existence. You share shame and this results in trust. Even in successful work places, they do this. Some even go ahead to make it a touchy-feely exercise which might not be necessary. The start is accepting who you are and living with yourself. You accept parts of yourself that are not perfect. No one is perfect so why should you? I don't demand perfection so why should I be a perfect one.  When you get used to who you are, you feel more at peace with who you are and when someone points out my 'flaws' whether I know them or not, I return a simple gaze because I feel nothing with regards to it. We are on a journey where there's no guide on what to do and we only try our very best because we have been given this one chance. Now, this is a very popular advice but it's not easy in reality. We are naturally proud people and accepting that we are not as good as we want to be can be a hard pi...

Dear dreamer, Live with it  I remember the first time someone attacked a flaw of mine, the anxiety I felt is something I knew right away that I don't want to live my life experiencing. I had the right intention but ended up doing the wrong thing still. My approach was to hide the entirety of who I am so no one would see me nor my flaws. It's not as difficult as it might seem especially if you are introverted already. By the time I realised how wrong that was, so much damage had been done. I was a ghost, no one really knew who I was or could understand me even when I desperately wished they would. I think the part that devastated me was the fact that no one could trust me. Who would trust a ghost, someone who hid so much of themselves, someone who was not known. At first, I felt very frustrated and took it another wrong further. I call it 'wrong' because I was not correcting what I had done. I declared war on humanity. I called them dangerous and not reliable or trustwor...

Dear dreamer, Personal Choices If there is anything I have been learning recently, it will be how I make my choices. It's very common advice to check your advice with people to confirm that you are doing something entirely unwise. While the advice is not entirely useless, it does not always applies to every situation. There have been more than one time that I tried to understand the choices of people around me and it has proved difficult beyond measure and it's not about not paying close enough attention. I could spend years from now and still never understand. Do not let this sound strange to you. Our journey is custom-made. I have said this time and time again but people make this mistake often. I don't know whether it is outright ignorance or not understanding or something beyond that. This is just a reminder that our individual journey is very personalised and people will often wonder if we have lost it because of the decisions we have made out of necessity.  So, it...

Dear dreamer, New goal in sight... Nothing changed with the overarching goal for now. This goal was just a means to the big goal at the end. The starting point of every ting I wanted to do was capital. I am no longer penniless but the money was not enough to start much. I did what I could. My sis and I started an impromptu business, not much.  However, you need to be able to keep looking forward so that you can see what you should do despite what feels easy. I already had an idea of the answer to that. I know what I need to do. How will I go about it...I did not know. Progress is progress though. I can only watch and wait to see if the answer would show itself as an opportunity.  Till then, I have this one chance to live my dreams and I would do justice to that.                             ~A Penniless Dreamer

Dear dreamer, Hard choices... We will live with some. It's a common rodeo, nothing new. Sometimes, we have to make really hard choices. Some are just very overarching. They are hard decisions because they might not be your favourite thing but they are the right thing to do to make a smart decision. It's not only about what feels right. Our body and mind could deceive and entrap us sometimes especially when it comes down to what is comfortable and what is not. It's comfortable does not make it the right thing to do.  Today, I had to make another hard choice. In fact, it would take a while for me to get used to it but I did what I had to do. It seemed to be a case of been audaciously greedy but it is better than been complacent. A life that wants and gets nothing. Sometimes, a choice can get caught in settling. It could be about settling for what you could find. What sort of life would that be. I think it's not worth living if it is simply about what happens to you in the...

Dear dreamer, Opportunity Very brief today. I saw a post today and I was wondering how much of the 'you can do it' you will have to go through before you realise that you have to be on the lookout for opportunities and most importantly, prepare to seize them when they finally arrive. I think we all underestimate how opportunities make our chances better.  Each and every thing I have been able to do and not do was determined by what opportunity I had and could seize when they came. Hard work is one thing, but it was almost unfruitful without a good chance to do it properly. Now, the good thing is that opportunity is literally everywhere but even as it lays before you, do you see it? That's the hard part. People hardly see the opportunity before them before they lose it. I am a victim too in this regard- victim of myself. Opportunities come every day and when you see how much you missed out on... It's just that this is our only chance to live this dreams so we can not aff...

Dear dreamer, A new hobby I have a fear that plague me constantly. In fact, I think I always had it and it worsened with each step I took over time. The fear of being nothing than a hype. It's not as though I do not have faith in me. Maybe I do, maybe not. It's just a constant feeling of not being enough. This inspired me to forge more until I became and still becoming someone who almost desperately tries to add value every day. A lot of it has been heightened by the little moments where I learnt that failure has no respect for how much work you put in. It's just one of the things we learn to cope with everyday so, I end up trying to add so much hoping that one day, it will all add up to be enough but that day remains far from sight.  More surprising is that I am learning that the day might never come and it simply does not matter whether it does or not. Even with all of this, I am a big deal where I come from. I am a source of inspiration to many people. They all strive to...