Day 056

 Dear dreamer,

Finding Peace I

The feeling of being enough is one that can easily elude us because of the imperfection we were carefully created to illustrate and we proclaim it as if it is a shameful stain that we try unsuccessfully to erase. When was the last time you made a mistake and did not beat yourself up for a while. We are quick to judge people for engaging on an impossible quest but we struggle to rewrite our DNA- very hilarious. I have experienced this first hand, thinking that I'm the problem, it must be me doing it wrong. I know that we are all imperfect but I sometimes forget that includes me.

In one of the rare moments where I am talking to my mum and feel she can hear every word, she made me realise that it was very unnecessary to fight yourself. I am a naturally overcautious, overanxious person. My worst fear is making a mistake even if that's the messy bits of our lives that makes it interesting. I'm not very courageous. I like to have a major part of the deal within control or it's high risk for me. I knew this for a long while but I never quite accepted it. What did I get from beating myself up? Nothing other than stress, not helpful either.

If you know your nature- your strength & weakness. Don't forget that your weakness is a trait that you are good at. Some others need it more than you do. Know how to work around your weakness and stop trying to rewrite a permanent scroll. This is not saying you should be deliberately exhibiting terrible character. I am saying that you need to find peace with who you are. You are trying so hard and that's fine. Find the balance. Stop labelling your imperfections as if they responsible for your misfortunes. Only by facing life without fighting ourselves can we stand a chance to do this right,

                                ~A Penniless Dreamer