Day 019

Dear dreamer, 

Recovering...

Practically, I had done this self-loathing for two days which is more than enough for me. I knew it was time for me to put my big girl shoes and look forward but it seemed kind of hard. 

In my bid of moving on, a couple of things occurred to me. First, the blog was about me, not because of what people wanted to see...I mean, sports would have been a better topic to discuss if all I wanted was attention. I had absolute control over my story. It's mine to tell however I like to. 

Also, my story is not supposed to be flawless. Some of it as not as good as others, so what? It doesn't matter if we make mistakes, we will use other part of our lives to make up for it. It's not supposed to be perfect. Flaws are necessary every now and then...that's how we grow. It's all part of what makes us uniquely us.

Most importantly, I was feeling nervous about failing without failing. So far, it was good so why should I worry about when it's not good when I was yet to meet the hurdle. Some things we worry about are so unnecessary. It might sound crazy when we try to explain it because it is. I was failing because I was nervous about failing even when I had not started to fail. I dusted my clothes and sat up. I only get this one chance to live this dreams and I am going to do just that. 

I was still waiting for my problems to somehow go away or to move to another level where something was within my control. In the meantime, product 2 is going to be a long project and I need more alternatives so I was trying to look out for more options. 

Maybe it is about time I picked from my previously unfinished projects.


                            ~A Penniless Dreamer

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Day 001

Dear dreamer, Thoughts and more Thoughts... This is not your typical 'my life story'- only it possesses elements of it. The most daring thing about this is that I am just going with the flow (whatever that means) . I know not what the end will be, only dare hope it is good just like I think. Everyone always say "Dream" and it is only so hard to do so. They never tell you about the hopelessness in dreaming when you are penniless- which is the initial state of every dreamer. They do not want to discourage you so they omit it from every literature or maybe it is just difficult to describe which is what I want to describe so you can almost feel it... For any dreamer who is a vast reader and learner, the best way to start is to borrow wisdom from from great writers and people who have trailed this path before. From all I could gather, one stood painfully practical; 'Do not focus on what you do not have...but what you need  and find your way to it using what you have...
Read more

Day 002

Dear dreamer,  Questions...lots of questions Lethargy...I could literally feel it like a gentle caress lulling me back to comfort-very deceptively destructive state. I started the long, arduous process of shaking it off simply because I have this one chance to live my dreams and I won't screw it up as far as it is up to me.  I started the day wondering if my ideas were good. There were a lot of questions;  Can I pull it off?  I might need help so I called out to my close confidant. I read about something called a kitchen cabinet- it is a couple of people that are literally your guide rails. They keep you accountable, you can ask them questions about anything. Well, they are supposed to be comforting enough yet honest to call you up on your faults without mincing words. I started building mine then so I reached out to the one who I can say is the chief of my cabinet. I ran the ideas by him, he did not have much of an opinion just a lot of questions about the idea and ...
Read more

Day 004

  Dear dreamer,  Life Of A Penniless Dreamer I don't know about others but being idle makes me so uncomfortable. Like, I must always be doing something valuable, meaningful, something that is felt but, as it was, I was just waking up in the past few days to nothing but absolute emptiness. Of course, I did some mundane chore but it moved nothing so I was dissatisfied and wondering what exactly I could do- something effortless enough but impactful. Not like I did not have things to do, in fact I had deadlines to meet but I was in low spirits so I had no motivation nor intention and I have learnt to not force some things. Quality dwindles. Poor quality with so much effort. There is something I do from time to time, no fixed time frame but I just organise it as it feels. It's a self-reflection exercise. During the exercise, I just simply review all of my plans and see how much progress I made- sometimes it is depressing, other times it lifts my spirit. It's just to make sure I ...
Read more