Day 018

 Dear dreamer,

The block

If there is anything I dread more than hell, it's a block- writer's block. I don't know exactly how to describe it. For me, it feels like complete blankness sometimes or mind disorganisation. The painful part of the complete blankness is that deep down, there's a lot you could write about but you are just unmotivated and can not really use words to describe what you would. Sometimes, I start writing and it just ends up as a conundrum, confusing even me, the composer.

This time, I worked myself into a mental block. When I started the blog, one of the paramount reasons I kept hammering its purpose into my head, painfully so is to prevent situations like this but it seemed like it was all not working. Blocks happened every now and then, the only way to resolve it is to build an habit of what you do frequently till you become the magic in your trade yourself- build the character. In my case, it's still too early to say I had built the habit of putting things that mattered out there so I had to walk through my blocks whatever way possible. Keep the purpose in mind, the original motivation and I was kind of desperate because it was way too early to be experiencing a block- one that was induced by my lack of confidence and fear of disappointing. It only got scarier by the moment and I barely got through writing day 006 and I was worried about coming days.

Coupled with my block, I was beginning to grow tired of holding on to hope. In my search for a strategy, I was alternating other fields and trying to learn about them, exhaustively, I might add but it was worth the trial. I only get this chance to live my dreams after all and I was not about to throw all of it. I was also half expecting a ton of my problems to disappear by themselves. Since I have been trying to make them all go away and I did not seem to have a clue what else to do...or did I?

I will end it on this note. Till tomorrow.

                                ~A Penniless Dreamer